It all started last Wednesday when our normally happy-go-lucky baby girl did not have a good showing when she went up to Daddy's work for an hour while Mommy went to the dentist. Now, this is unusual because her best times for being friendly and batting her eyelashes and giving her great smile are mornings. And Wednesday morning she would have none of it. When I got her home I noticed she seemed very tired. I put her down for her morning nap which usually last from 45 minutes to 1 hour and 15 minutes last 2 hours and 30 minutes. I should have guessed something was up at that point. Our Little Britches woke up at 1 am Thursday morning with a temperature of 103.7. The overnight nurse informed us of the correct Tylenol dosage and made us an appointment for the next day with our doctor.
Thursday morning Little Britches had 102 temperature so I gave her some more medicine. By the time we got to the doctor she was smiling and had no fever. The doctor said it seems like a virus that just needs to run its course. The rest of Thursday and Friday were spent mostly hanging around the house and staying pretty low key. Her fever seemed to be on the downward slope- 101, 100, 99...Then came Saturday morning.
On Saturday morning Little Britches felt warm, so we took her temperature. It was 101.5. We gave her some medicine, but in an hour and a half her temperature had gone up, not down and she seemed to be breaking out into a red bumpy rash. She was also extremely fussy and tired. We decided not to chance it and to call the after hours clinc for an appointment. We got one for Saturday afternoon. By the time we arrived at the doctor she was smiling and babbling away making us feel a little foolish for bringing her.
The nurse took her temperature, which was still pretty high. After a doctor's examination it was determined that it was most likely just a virus as we were told before, but with her fever being high and with her being so young the doctor just wanted to rule out some other more serious possibilities.
What came next was the hardest hour of my parenting life. First that put a catheter in our little one to get a urine sample. Then they stuck a swab up her nose to test for the flu. Then we had to go over to the lab so they could draw blood out of her arm. This was the worst! They stuck the needled in, but could not find the vein. It seemed to take FOREVER for them to roll the needle around enough to get in the vein. Then the blood stopped flowing, so they were digging around some more. This entire time Daddy was holding Little Britches arm out and still, while I stood at her head and looked into her wide-eyes as she screamed and looked at me for help. I know you are supposed to be strong for your kiddos so they won't be scared, but I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I kept telling her she was brave and they were searching for anything bad that might be in her body. By the end of the ordeal we had all three cried.
The good news is all test came back negative and we do seem to be dealing with just a virus.
As I was looking into my baby girls eyes I was hit with this truth: I have many times asked God to search me and know me. (Psalm 139:22-24) But I never once expected that to be a painful process. I think if God has ever begun to really search me and it hurt I pulled away. What have I missed? What areas in my life has he wanted to change for his glory? I don't know. I have pulled away or cried out for help.
It is hard, but I want say, but I want God to search me, know me, test me, and lead me in the way everlasting....even if it hurts...a lot.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
This is a video of our daughter's dedication yesterday. As parents, my husband and I, want to bring Little Britches up to follow Jesus with her whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. She is a gift from God. Yesterday we offered her back to Him as an act of worship and surrender. He has great plans for her life- they are plans to glorify himself not her or us. I am acutely aware plans that glorify God can be the same plans that take a child to another nation or people group...they can be the same plans that cause a child to do things much different that her parents...they are the same plans that could even cause her life to be poured out for the sake of the gospel. These are not plans I would choose, but she is not mine. She is His. I pray she will follow Him with her whole heart and that I would experience joy beyond words as I see her learn to hear Him for herself and obey.
These words were written in 1864, yet they are the cry of my heart for myself and for my baby girl.
Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose. Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.
Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.
Here am I, all of me. Take my life, it's all for Thee.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Moving around on my own is so much fun! I can get places and do things..things like find shoes. I love shoes! I love to hold them, put my mouth on them, play with their strings, and whatever else I can think of before mommy or daddy take them away from me and give me something boring like a baby toy that sings and dances. Oh well, I am getting fast. Soon I can go to the next pair of shoes before they will have time to hand me something from my toy box. I can't wait for the day!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I always find it a bit unsettling that I am sitting on my couch watching people work out after having just eaten a delicious dinner of chicken, salad, veggies, and potatoes and polishing off my dessert of pudding pie. I make myself feel better by reminding myself of all the exercise I do when I am not watching TV, but it only kind of works. Daily exercise and eating right keeps my body healthy and energetic. Enjoying a wonderful meal and a little TV time with my sweet husband keeps our relationship healthy and energetic, so I think it is time well spent.
Just the other day my husband and I were saying that some things never end. I have always felt like I do dishes all the time, but now since Little Britches is eating and using a few more dishes I feel like I do dishes non-stop. It was funny because my husband said, "I do dishes every night! They never stay done." What he didn't realize is I do another load everyday and they never stay done either. The same is true for laundry. Right now this is what is in front of me: 3 loads of laundry waiting in the wings to be washed, 2 loads on the couch waiting to be folded, and 2 loads in the process. I just did laundry on Thursday! How can there be so much to do again? All this never-ending work can get you down fast unless you realize what I realize and TRY to remember when the "Woe is me, there is so much to do" attitude tries to rear its head. I realize that having a constant stream of dirty dishes means we have food to eat and we are healthy enough to eat it. I realize that clothes piled up in piles to be washed means I have more than one set of clothes to put on my body. It also means I have clean running water with which to wash my dishes and my clothes. The increase in dishes and laundry means there is another person in our house, a family member to love, cherish, and make laugh. Sure if the choice is purely dishes or reading a magazine, I am going to choose a magazine every time, but if those dishes serve to remind me of all that I have be so unreasonably blessed with then I am choosing the dishes, because I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God has poured out His love in my life. Bring on the dishes and laundry!